


Hiraeth

by MaoKi23



Category: Nabari no Ou
Genre: M/M, just a sad drabble, kind canon compliant?????, nothing more really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:54:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24687223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaoKi23/pseuds/MaoKi23
Summary: There will always be an empty hole, the feeling of something missing.
Relationships: Rokujou Miharu & Yoite
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	Hiraeth

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short sad drabble because i am still and forver sad over these two  
> Enjoy <3

The feeling of having something missing, an empty hole inside his heart plagued him since that day. 

He felt like he’d reverted back to a person he didn’t quite remember, but he definitely knew. Someone cold, distant, alone. 

He still had everyone, Raimei, Aizawa, Gau, Shirotama, Juji, Yukimi. Ever Thobari to an extent. 

And yet, everytime he recounted his friends, another name almost rolled off the tip of his tongue, fleeting and gone before he could even grasp it. It was annoying, but something in his heart was at peace with it. Something inside him knew, that whoever or whatever it was he had forgotten had not felt blame towards him for doing so. Almost as if it’s all they ever wanted. 

And yet, on the cold days sitting on the porch, hand knit scarf wrapped tightly around his shoulders, Miharu found himself leaning to the side, a subconscious thought, that there would be someone there to lean on. 

In the dead of night he reached out his hand, only to grasp cold and empty sheets. 

In the sun, he tilted his head upwards and to the side, smiling. 

But there was never anyone there. 

He’d realised pretty early on, he’d forgotten somebody important, somebody he cared for. Was close to. But there was no face, no voice, no smell, no colour he could associate with the feeling of losing his home. 

And it felt like that. He felt homesick. He wanted nothing more than to run back to them, where he knows he would feel safe, feel alive. 

And then the kitten turned up. Yukimi decided to call it Yoite, a name that stirred a week long headache for Miharu. A name that when called, should’ve have been answered by silence or a small quiet affirmation. 

The cat stuck to his side, as if he was the only one he trusted. Miharu wasn’t complaining, it quelled some of his loneliness. 

Everyone around him seems to feel like there’s somebody missing too. Yukimi often calls out to an empty room, make one too many drinks. 

Miharu wonders, had he not been strong enough to fulfil their wish? Had he not truly wanted what they did? He knew the Shinrabanshou had finally answered him, had granted a wish but he didn’t know for what, for who. 

The push was simple. The smell of hot lemons, the feel of well-worn wool brushing against his skin. A flash of a kind smile, of eyes that looked lifeless, but held a small flicker of hope. 

Cold skin pressing against his, frail and almost translucent. 

The moon was the only witness that night as Miharu curled up tighter in his bed, hands clutching the scarf and sobs tore through his body. 

“Who are you?” He whispered, voice quivering with despair as he looked to the moon, the light beaming in from his window in an almost comforting gesture. 

His heart had never felt so fragile, like it had finally collected and pieced itself back together, only to fall apart all over again at the slightest motion. 

He fell into sleep before he knew it, dreams full of laughter and secrets, a hand in his, a shoulder to rest on. An answering smile. 

And when it all came back to him, the memory of faded skin, of frail bones, a gentle but bright smile, the feeling of adoration, of love. A name. 

_Yoite._

It was Yoite. The boy who was dealt an unfair hand from birth, disregarded and treated like nothing more than an annoyance. Yoite, who had threatened him initially, to let him disappear. 

Yoite, who Miharu had grown close to, had opened up to and managed to build a trust around. 

Yoite, who Miharu loved with all of his heart, so much so, he helped him end his pain, went against everything he was told and used his wish. 

Miharu granted Yoite’s wish to be forgotten, but his heart had not allowed him to fully forget. 

_Dear Yoite,_

_I don’t know if you’re still able to hear me, but._

_I almost wish I didn’t have to say goodbye. But more than that, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you disappear fully. I was selfish, I didn’t want to forget you. But if you can hear me, know this._

_I love you. You deserved so much more. I don’t blame you or regret the decision to be forgotten, I know it was too painful. I know Kira would’ve taken you soon too._

_But to me, you were everything. Kind and understanding, a little afraid, but you helped me connect, open up. If I could see you one more time, I’d want you to know that. You deserved more from the world and I can only hope that the time you spent with me was as precious to you as it was to me._

_It’s enough to know you’re at peace, smiling fondly and watching over me._

_Miharu._

And that night, and every night after, Miharu’s dreams were painted in soft hues, gentle words and comforting touches, the feeling of love and _home_. And every night, the words were said back to him; 

_I love you too._


End file.
